After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize