I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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