and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
