Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize