Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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