He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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