Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
They have beer where we have blood.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize