real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
