chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
