Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
