do herpes really smell.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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