your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
