Tell her she can't have a vagina
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
