I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
