sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
