I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
