i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
