im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
