Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
