so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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