i would punch a child for taco bell
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize