I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
