You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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