Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You did what with his pubic hair?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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