ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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