forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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