Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
