take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
