yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
