I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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