I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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