I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
