She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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