btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
