i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
