I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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