I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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