so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Let's paint friendship bongs
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
