I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
