PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
