Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
