Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
