You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
