I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
