He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
