I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
