how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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