they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
