I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You were trust falling into bushes
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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