i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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