I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize