Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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