Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
