so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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