what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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