I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
