its not stalking. its research.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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