so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
