he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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