Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
