I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
