would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Girls should come with a carfax report
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
