What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I am one with the molecules
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
