how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
