How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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